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Sex: Why She Needs to Take it Slow, Why it’s So Important to Him, Jan. 8th, 2011

Let me start by saying, these differences won’t apply to all men and all women all the time. Rather, they will apply to most men and most women most of the time. And, as we get older some of the differences can shift.

So is sex really more important for men than women? Or is it just more complicated for women?

When a Woman gets Physical, She Gets Attached
That’s why she can’t jump in as quickly or easily. Because once she gets physically intimate with someone, she can become attached, whether she wants to or not.

When You’re Falling in Love, Your Brain Stops Working Right
In the beginning stages of a relationship, the cautious part of your brain gets really quiet.  So it’s easy to miss the red flags or other warning signs. But once the infatuation wears off you can see clearer. Except, if you’ve slept with him, then you may already be bonded. That’s why it can be hard to leave even if he’s not a great guy or the relationship isn’t what you really want. You’re already “in.”

It Takes More for a Woman to Get and Stay “in the Mood”
It’s nature’s way of slowing her down, because she has so much more on the line. So a woman will need closeness, talking, cuddling and kissing before sex. And if there isn’t trust or commitment that will definitely affect her ability to “let go.”  And she can easily be distracted by noises or just having too much on her mind.

It Takes Less for a Man to Get or Stay “in the Mood”
Plus, sex is often when he feels closest to his partner. In fact sex is as important to a man as talking is to a woman. It’s how he connects and feels close.

When Sex is Good for Her, Everybody’s Happy!
So sex does matter to her, she just needs her partner to be sensitive to what she really needs. Because when sex is better for her, she’ll be more interested, which is good for every body!  And remember, with sex it’s -“Use it or Lose it”. So it’s worth taking the time to get it right!

We’ll be discussing Sex at our January relationship seminar at the Village Book Shop.  Can’t wait to hear what you think!

Sex: Why She Needs to Take it Slow, Why it’s So Important to Him
Saturday, January 8th, 2011
3:00 – 4:30 p.m.
Village Book Shop
123 N. Glendora Ave., Glendora

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

{ 6 comments… add one }
  • Rafael

    Your article parallels what I have heard in other seminars. People change at the age of 50, just like you said in the first paragraph….most women are no longer bonded after having sex…and men have to be careful, after 50….

    • Vondie

      hmmm. very interesting…

  • andywhalenite

    The lack of interest to your sex talk doesn’t suprise me. There are many, adults, that can’t talk about it.

    • Vondie

      We’ve done the Sex talk before and had a pretty good response. So I’m not sure if it’s that everyone on my email list has already been to the Sex talk. Or if it’s because they’re single and that topic was more geared towards couples?

  • andywhalenite


    Sad to say, I have been counseled by therapists that don’t make any sense, when I asked about sexual/relationship issues….

    • Vondie

      It can be a tricky topic, I admit.

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