≡ Menu

Are You Ready for Love?

Are You Ready for Love - QuizDoes it ever feel like all the good ones are already taken? And the guys you meet just aren’t relationship material? Or when you meet someone you do like, he’s just not that into you?

A lot of good men are already married. But, there are plenty of other great guys still out there. But, if you can’t seem to find one, it might mean at some level — you’re not quite ready for love.

It’s hard to believe, I know. Everyone around you is pairing up and settling down. And you don’t want to get left behind. But, there may be a part of you that is holding back.

Take this simple quiz* to find out…

Are You Ready for Love?

Do you have relationships with men who:
a. want to marry you after 6 to 16 months? (0 points)
b. want to marry you at first, but then get cold feet? (-1 point)
c. don’t know if they ever want to get married? (-1 point)

When a guy you like wants to get closer:
a. do you say “Come here, Baby!” (0 points)
b. does he become less attractive? (-1 point)
c. do you get nervous? (-1 point)

When you think about sharing your life with someone, do you:
a. feel elated! (0 points)
b. secretly wonder if you’ll have to give up important parts of your single life? (-1 point)
c. worry you might lose yourself? (-1 point)

If you scored -1 to -3, points, you may have Mixed Feelings about Finding Love. If you scored -4 to -6 points, you may have a Fear of Finding Love. If you scored 0 points you could be Ready for Love!

Take Action:

If you have Mixed Feelings or if you have a Fear of Finding Love, this is not a life sentence. It just means at some level, you may have a fear of intimacy. Part of you really wants love. But, another part of you is afraid you won’t get what you really need in a relationship.

Sometimes it means you’re afraid of getting hurt. Sometimes it means you’re afraid of getting close and then losing him. Sometimes, it’s a little of both. And now that you know you’re not quite ready for love, you can do something about it.

For some people it’s counseling. For others it’s a 12-step or support group. Whatever works for you. (And if you’re in the Los Angeles or Orange County area, check out my Relationship Seminars.)

* This quiz is intended to be informative. However, it is not a valid psychological assessment tool.

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.