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A Single Girl’s Summer Survival Guide

Single Girl's Summer Survival GuideSummer’s almost here. And that’s great news! Except if you’re a single girl, it can be a bit tricky.

* Where will you go on vacation this year? Who will you go with?

* Are there any weddings to attend? Should you bring a date or go alone?

* What about baby showers?

* Maybe a summer fling would make you feel better?

Here are a few suggestions to help you survive this summer!

Weddings are Not Mandatory 

You love your friend and you’re genuinely happy for her. But, it’s hard to keep going to weddings single. So, let me start by saying — you don’t HAVE to go. If the best you can do is send a gift and wish them well, that’s okay. Everyone likes something from their gift registry. Order online unless you want to visit the wedding section at Macys or Pottery Barn.

Should You Bring a Date to a Wedding? 

If you’d like to go to the wedding — should you bring a date or go solo? Weddings are an intense date unless you’re in a committed relationship. It makes men feel really pressured. So, it might be best to bring a friend. Or you can even go alone if you’re feeling brave. Besides, there may be some interesting guys at the wedding. Just beware of guys looking to hook-up with single girls who’ve had too much champagne.

Baby Showers R Us

Your friends have graduated from weddings to babies. Again, if you’re just not up to going, that’s okay. Goodnight Moon and Pat the Bunny are great baby books. And you can get them both at Amazon.

Where to Go for Your Vacation

You deserve a vacation just like all the couples and families you know. You can go alone or ask a close friend. If you’re going solo, choose some place extra safe. I’m in SoCal and I like Santa Barbara. It’s just a couple hours drive from Los Angeles. There’s the pier and lots of fun things to do and see. Ask around for local vacation spots near you. And stay away from known couples locations (Cambria is a romantic spot on the California Central Coast. But, if you’re single, all that hand-holding can be depressing.)

What to Do on Your Vacation 

If you like crowds, check out the local tourist attractions. If you want privacy, find a quiet place to read or walk. When it comes to eating out, dinner is the trickiest. A fancy restaurant may not be best. But, a neighborhood eatery can be friendly and inviting. And avoid going to bars alone. If you’re feeling lonely, it can be a recipe for disaster.

A Summer Fling Can Be Inviting 

When you’re feeling discouraged, it’s easy to go for Mr. Right Now instead of waiting for Mr. Right. And if it happens, don’t beat yourself up. But, remember, every detour takes you off your path to find what you really want – a good man by your side at your wedding, who wants to make babies and spend the rest of his vacations with you. And that is worth waiting for.

Take Action

If it feels like finding love is next to impossible. If you’re meeting more Mr. Wrong’s than Mr. Right’s, it might be time to get some outside help. The right kind of counseling really can make a difference.

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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