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Facebook Can Tell Who You’re Seeing and if You Might Break-Up

Facebook predicts break-upsFacebook can figure out who you’re in a romantic relationship with. And they can predict if you might break-up.

recent study by Facebook and Cornell University researchers found that they could predict who someone’s  partner was based on how little their mutual friends were connected.

And when their predictions weren’t as good, it might be because those relationship weren’t gonna last.

You and Your Boyfriend are the Glue in Your Mutual Friendships

The researchers could tell who someone’s partner was because their shared friends didn’t have connections to each other. Instead, the couple was the glue that connected them. 

For example, let’s say you introduce your boyfriend to your best friend. And your boyfriend introduces you to his brother. So your best friend and your boyfriend’s brother are now mutual friends of both of yours. But, they probably aren’t friends with each other. Because, the only thing your best friend and your boyfriend’s brother really have in common is the two of you.

That’s how they could tell who was in a relationship with who. When people’s mutual friends aren’t connected to each other, there’s a good chance it’s because the couple is what they have in common.

The researchers had the best results with married people. They were able to figure out who someone’s spouse was 60% of the time. Their predictions weren’t as good for people who were just “in a relationship.” But, that’s also because some of those relationships were headed for trouble.

When You’re Not the Glue, Your Chances of Breaking Up are Higher

The researchers found that people who were “in a relationship,” but who didn’t have those types of mutual friends (ie. you’re not introducing him to your best friend and he’s not introducing you to his brother) … those relationships had a higher chance of breaking up after 60 days. 

In other words, if you’re “in a relationship,” but you’re not sharing your friends and family with each other, it could be a sign that your relationship is already on the rocks or it may be headed there.

It is kind of Big Brother-ish to realize Facebook can figure out who you’re seeing without you telling them. But, it’s even more freaky to realize they can read between the lines of what’s happening inside your relationship.

It’s important to remember that Facebook has a vested interest in encouraging you and your boyfriend to spend more time online meeting each others’ Facebook friends.

But, it’s also true that merging your worlds is an important part of building a lasting relationship.

Take Action

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

  • When do you think you should starting introducing a guy to your friends and family?
  • When would you be comfortable meeting his friends and family?
  • Once you meet in person, would you want to become Facebook friends with his friends and family?
  • Would you want him to friend your friends and family?
  • What do you think about Facebook being able to figure out who you’re seeing and if you might break-up?

You can post your comment below. (If you’re using your iPhone, you have to view the full website to see the Comments box.  :)

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Nihad Ibrahim

    Dear Dr. Vondie,
    Thank you for your nice e-mail and your interesting article. In the time being I’m single and don’t have boyfriend either. It means that my answers wouldn’t be based on real experience but on “If I were….” using my imagination as a valid Facebook member if you like that.
    I can start introducing a guy to my friends and family when I feel he would contain my special world. I may meet his friends and family only if he succeeds to make me curious to know more about him. Once we meet in person I do not prefer becoming friend with his friends and family, because different opinions make a lot of distortion and new relationships need quietness and concentration. I don’t want him to friend my friends and family unless he becomes my close friend first. Facebook is like magic box can predict many times but not every time. Human beings have no rules.
    Thank you

    Nihad Ibrahim
    Cairo – Egypt

    • Vondie

      Hi Nihad,

      Thank-you for your thoughtful comment.

      I agree. Usually it is better to start out slow and gradually introduce him to your friends and family. And the same with meeting his friends and family. Also, what happens if you break-up? Then you have to unfriends each other’s friends and family? I think it’s always better to take it slow.

      I notice you are in Cairo. I hope you are safe and well.

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