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Choosing the Right Online Dating Site

Online Dating

Before you can find the right guy, you have to find the right site. Otherwise, you could find yourself looking for love on a hook-up site, without knowing it.

Watch Out for Sexy Pics

Don’t spend too much time checking out other women’s pictures, because you’ll start comparing and criticizing yourself.

But, you do want to make sure all the other women on the site aren’t putting up super sexy pictures or worse — pictures where they’re not wearing much at all. Because, that means you’re on a hook-up site.

If you’d rather not check out the women’s pics, just look at the men’s. If the guys all look like players (super hot and sexy), you’re probably in the wrong place. Because, most of these guys aren’t looking for love, they’re just looking for sex.

Is He Willing to Spend a Little Money?

If you choose a site that’s a bit of a financial investment it helps screen out the guys who are just throwing up a quick profile looking for something casual (again: read sex). It also means he can afford $20 or $30 a month to pay for the membership. That doesn’t tell you a lot about his finances. But, if a guy can’t even afford that or he’s not willing to spend that, he might not be ready for love.

Is He Willing to Work for It? 

You also want a site that requires him to work a little. Dating sites like eHarmony require a lengthy questionnaire. That up front investment of time also screens out guys who aren’t serious about finding love.

The other thing I love about eHarmony is that they pre-screen your matches for you. They use their research to choose men who would be a good fit for you. And then you get to choose from that pool. This overrides your tendency to keep picking the same type of guy that never works out. And when you find someone from their matches that you like, you have the ingredients for a pretty good relationship.

Do You Have Shared Values? 

I’ve also seen people get married who met on values-based sites. These are primarily religious sites like JDate or Catholic Singles sites. The people I’ve known who met on these sites weren’t particularly religious or active in their faith. They just wanted someone who shared their values and had been raised in the same kind of family.

Of course, you could get lucky on a free site with lots of sexy pics. But, the goal is to do everything you can to stack the odds in your favor. ;-)

Take Action:

I’d LOVE to hear from you…

Which sites have (or your friends) had the best luck with?
Which sites haven’t worked out so great?


Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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