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Stupid Things People Say When You’re Single

When are you gonna get married?
Don’t you know the clock is ticking?

Why are you still single?
You’ll find love when you’re not looking…

Sometimes people have good intentions. Sometimes they’re insensitive. And sometimes they’re just clueless.

When Are You Gonna Get Married? 

This comment is usually made by someone in your family who thinks you’re great and can’t understand why no one’s snatched you up yet.

They’re implying that you’re being too picky – like there are a ton of guys beating down your door and you’re sending them all away. Or they think you’re too focused on your work so you’re missing all the great guys going by.

We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they don’t realize you’d love to be married. But, putting pressure on you doesn’t help. It just makes you feel worse.

When this question comes up, just smile and let them know you haven’t met the right guy yet. Then change the subject. If they come back to it, make an excuse to leave the room.

Don’t You Know the Clock is Ticking? 

Why would anyone ever say this to a woman? Are they trying to be funny? Or are they that insensitive?

Of course you know the clock is ticking. Sometimes it’s ticking so loudly you feel like it’s gonna explode.

And you sure don’t need someone else to point this out. If anyone mentions your biological clock, just walk away… just walk away.

Why is Someone Like You Still Single? 

This one’s kinda tricky. It sounds like a compliment. But, if a guy asks you this on a date, beware! Because, it’s basically a polite way of saying, What’s wrong with you?

It’s like he’s sitting across from you thinking, She looks cute… She looks normal… So, why’s she still on the market?

It’s like he doesn’t even want to get to know you. He just wants to find out why nobody else wanted you. OUCH.

Don’t fall for this one. Don’t even try to answer it. Just smile and say, I guess I haven’t found anybody who’s right for me yet. Change the subject. And then move on… quickly. NEXT!

You’ll Find Love When You’re Not Looking

This is usually said by someone who met their husband or wife when they were really young and not even thinking about marriage.

Good for them. But, what’s their point?

Are they saying you should just sit there and do nothing and hope your future husband just happens to drop by.

I don’t think so!

Again, thank them for sharing. And change the subject. Then find someone single to talk to who actually understands.

What Can You Do?

There is some truth in all of these suggestions.

You may have unknowingly overlooked some guys with potential. It is easy to get lost in your work if you really love it. You do have a time window to consider if you want to have a family. And there may be reasons you’re still single that you might want to look at. And yes –  you are more likely to meet someone when you’re happy with yourself and just living your life.

But, you’re doing your best. And being pressured or put on the spot doesn’t help. And being told to just keep waiting definitely doesn’t help.

Because there are things you can do to meet a great guy. And there’s nothing wrong with making that a priority! It just means you want to get married and have a family. And why would you want to keep waiting when there’s something you can actually do about it?


Are you in the L.A. area? 

Check out my new Meetup group, Finding Mr. RightOur first meetup is July 12th and we’ll be talking about The Best Places to Meet Men and What to Do and Say When You Get There! Just click here for all the details. Would love to have you join us. :)

And you KNOW I’d love to hear the stupid things people have said to you about being single! Just leave a comment below. :)

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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