Do you get nervous and excited about a first date? Do you secretly wonder if this could be The One?
Or do you dread first dates? Do they feel more like job interviews than anything romantic?
If your first dates aren’t so great or you’re not getting the results you want, I hope you’ll join me to chat about First Date Tips to Leave Them Wanting More!
Here’s some of what we’ll be talking about…
Dealing with “Nerves”
When I attended Andy Whaling MFT’s* singles seminars he told us to flip it. Instead of worrying about if the other person would like us, he told us this was our time to decide whether or not we liked them!
Don’t Bond Before You Know Them
Since infatuation lasts 3-6 (or even 8!) months, you don’t want to get too close right away. Because what feels like “love” is really infatuation. That’s why it’s important to take it slow, especially in the beginning. You don’t want to fall head over heels before you really know them.
Keep it Light and Brief and Safe
You want the first date to be low-key, upbeat, and not too long. Coffee is a great first date. You can meet them there. You get to see them in the daylight. You can visit and talk about your interests, hobbies, what you both like to do for fun. Andy said the only goal of a first date is, “Do I want a second date?”
Topics and Questions to Avoid
No talking about sex, the ex, marriage, etc. Nothing too intense. And no negative topics or complaints. And beware of trick questions like “Why’s someone like you still single?” or “How’s the online dating site working out for you?” There’s no good answer to these questions.
Watch for Red Flags
Keep your eyes open and trust your gut! If anything feels “off” or weird, PAY ATTENTION! Remember, this is them on their best behavior. (If they’re nervous, that’s different. But, if they’re inappropriate, rude or abusive in any way, now is the time to cut and run!)
We’re pretty traditional when it comes to dating. So the general rule is the man usually pays. But, men always appreciate “the reach” and a woman who is a gracious guest. And if you start dating regularly, she can begin to pitch in a bit.
Setting up the Second Date
If your first date went well and you’re feeling good about your time together — woo-hoo! Time for a second date. Sometimes a man will ask for another date as you’re wrapping up the first date. Or he’ll call after. Either way is fine as long as he doesn’t wait too long to call.
First Date Tips to Leave Them Wanting More!
Saturday, March 14
E.P. Foster Library
651 E. Main St., Ventura, CA
*Whaling, A. (2000-2002). Sunday Night Singles. Pasadena, CA.