We find people attractive for all kinds of reasons. But, most of the time, chemistry is based on stuff we’re not even aware of.
We’re most attracted to what we know. Or rather who we know.
It’s like we have a template inside us that lights up when we find someone attractive. It draws us in like a magnet. And it says — “Ahh, this is what I’ve been looking for.” “This is what I want.”
This template is made up of all the relationships from our childhood and other important people in our lives.
So, if you had good family relationships. You’ll most likely have chemistry with people who will treat you right. Because you choose people based on your relationship template. And good for you.
The problem comes, when you’ve had less than great relationships in the past. You may have chemistry with people who remind you of those past relationships.
Even though you don’t want to repeat those relationship patterns, your template still lights up when you come across people that fit that relationship template.
Something about them may feel familiar or attractive. And it’s hard to choose someone that you don’t feel attracted to. (That’s also why they drive us so crazy later on! Because they’re reminding us of someone from the past.)
But, the secret is — you can have passion, without initial chemistry.
And passion can be even better! Because, it’s based on a real relationship with your partner. It’s not chemistry, because they remind you of someone from the past. And it’s not going to wear off once you get to know them.
So, I hope you’ll join me for:
Why Passion is Better than Chemistry!
Saturday, 3:00 p.m.
August 1, 2009
Village Book Shop
123 N. Glendora Ave., Glendora