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Remember To Celebrate The Little Victories

As we approach the holidays and get ready for a new year, it’s normal to think about where we are in our lives.  We look back at the past year and we think about the year ahead.   

But, sometimes, when we look back, it’s easy to compare ourselves to other people.  We start thinking about our relationships and our lives compared to how we think theirs are.    

Or sometimes, we don’t even compare ourselves to real people.  We compare ourselves to hallmark commercials or people we see on t.v. and we think their lives look better than ours. 

And we end up feeling bad about ourselves. 

But, I’ve love the saying that –“the only appropriate comparison is between where we are now and where we’ve come from.”

We stop comparing our lives to what we think other people’s lives are like.  And instead, we look at ourselves now, compared to where we were before. 

We all work so hard and expect so much of ourselves, it’s easy to focus on what we’d like to change in ourselves and our lives.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  It’s good to have goals and to work toward them. 

But, sometimes, it’s good to remember how hard you try and to celebrate the little victories.  Like, maybe this year, you took some risks in your relationship: 

  • Maybe you tried speaking up more
  • Or maybe you listened more
  • Or maybe you set some boundaries
  • Or maybe you risked getting closer

Whatever you did differently to try to have a better relationship, that’s a risk.  It’s also a step toward having the kind of relationship and life you really want. 

So, as you get ready for the holidays and think about the year ahead, I hope you can give yourself some credit for who you are and where you are today.  Because you deserve it.

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Thanks so much for the positive post! It is so easy to get down this time of year and to focus on the things that we don’t have rather than looking at being thankful for all that we do. I know I am guilty of always comparing myself to others and thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side. I resolve that starting today I am going to take a good hard look at my own life and make a list every day of all that is good in my life and make those the things that I focus on. Thank you for giving me the courage to be thankful for all of the good things and to remember to stop concentrating so much on the negative.

  • Thanks for the great comment. I’m so glad you found the post helpful. I usually right about the things I can identify with, so I hear ya. :)
    I hope you found many good things in your life to be grateful for.
    Take Good Care,

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