I’ve been cooking for my boyfriend, because it’s important to him. But, it hasn’t been without a bit of pain — actual pain. I don’t always pay attention to what I’m doing, so sometimes I cut or burn myself. But, it’s usually not a big deal.
Well, the other night, it was my boyfriend that got burned instead of me.
He went to help me move an oven rack. But, before he did, he asked if the oven was off. I thought it was and said, “yes.” But, it wasn’t. He grabbed the rack with his hand and got burned — badly.
He actually felt it “sizzle.”
IT WAS AWFUL.
After we had his hand in ice water and he was over the shock of it; the hard part was dealing with the fact that I had really hurt him.
He let me “doctor” him and do other things to make him more comfortable (like fixing him a snack and letting him surf the T.V. channels at full volume :).
And, I really appreciated it, A LOT. I felt so bad and helpless to make him feel better, that I was happy to do anything to make it up to him.
And, even though he was hurting, he didn’t make me suffer any more than I had to. He let me make-up and make-it-up to him as much as I could.
And that’s a good sign. None of us are perfect. And sometimes we’re gonna hurt each other, even when we don’t mean to. (That doesn’t mean we ignore unacceptable behavior or we let someone hurt us repeatedly.)
But, it’s a sign of a good relationship, if your partner accepts your attempts to reconnect after there’s been a “break” in the relationship*.
In other words, they let you make-up, without torturing you about it.
So, once again, I’d like to hear from you.
How do and your partner reconnect, after you hurt each other?
p.s. *To read more about this, check out John Gottman’s book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.
p.p.s. The next day he was fine.