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Is He Ready to Commit?

Dr. Vondie, Relationship Expert: Is he ready to commit?We all want someone to love who really loves us. Especially with Valentines Day right around the corner. But, how do you know if he is ready to take things to the next level?

Here are 10 ways to know if he is ready for a real relationship: 

1) Does he keep small commitments, like being on time and calling when he says he will?

2) Does he continue to move forward in your relationship? Or does he start out strong, but then have doubts or need to take “breaks.” Remember, the faster he comes on, the faster he will go away. 

3) Is he finished with his last relationship?  If he’s separated, recently divorced or coming off a break-up, he’s not ready to commit to a new relationship. And of course if he’s still in contact with his ex, he’s definitely not ready for anything real with you.

4) Does he ever mention wanting to “see other people”? Big red flag. He’s definitely not ready to commit to a relationship.

5) If he hasn’t asked you to be exclusive, assume that you’re not.

6) Do you take priority on the weekends, especially Friday and Saturday nights? That means he’s not out there looking for something better. 

7) Has he introduced you to any of their friends or family? This doesn’t happen all at once. But, if he slowly begin to share his world with you, that’s definitely a good sign.

8) If he a workaholic, alcoholic, or even a sexaholic, he’s not ready to commit. His obsession or addiction will always come before you.

9) If he tells you he’s not ready to settle down or he’s not “the marrying kind,”  BELIEVE him. He’s definitely not ready for a commitment now and he may NEVER be! 

10) If he keeps his small commitments to you, if you continue to grow closer, if  he’s making you a priority in his life and including you in his world, you’re definitely headed in the right direction. And when he’s ready to commit, you’ll be able to trust that it’s real. 

Take Action: Share one way you knew he was or wasn’t ready to commit.
(And if you’re in the L.A. area and you’d like to discover what’s keeping you from finding love, join me at my new Relationship Seminars Fridays at 7 p.m.) 

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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